Still Unwelcomed

There's stains in the bathroom sink
Like aborted dreams and memories
There's a lock on the bedroom door
Twisted by the sleepless nights
Sins like dust choke the air
Wishes that death was an option
That a grave might hold warm comfort
Or that anyone would see the hurt
Broken down and drowning in stale water
Can't welcome resignation
Can't stand to fight again

The First Night

I lay here with
Hunger pangs in my stomach
And eyes hardly open
Listening to him sleep
Too tired to feed myself
Happy for a moment to relax
Knowing he is content

Summer Dusk 2013

The crickets sing
In the warm summer dusk
A song that comes
In undulating waves

The sun glows pastel
Against the white clouds
As I sit alone outside
With thoughts of who is to come

Emotions are a myriad
Of colors inside of me
Each grasping for the front
Fear, happiness, anxiety, excitement

Reluctant

I like to hide
In conspicuous places
So I might be found
And inquired as to what is wrong
I want to tell how I feel
And what is wrong
But I want it coaxed from me
As if I am reluctant
To burden the world

Fall

A fierce red flame
Dances before my eyes
Is it growing larger
Or is it a trick of light?

A desert out before me
As daunting as it seems
No one stands near me
As I'm haunted by my screams

A darkness overhead
And no stars to be seen
This is the weakest
I have ever been

A grit is building inside
Rubbing my insides raw
I'm not sure if I will
Get up after I stumble and fall

Pain and Memory

I've been let down
I've been lied to
I've suffered for others
I've suffered for days

My pain makes memories
That I wish I could forget
My pain shows my weakness
That I wish I could forget

I've been set on fire
I've been left to die
I've lost my mind and soul
I've lost my body and life

My memory makes me broken
And I'll never be whole again
My memory makes me fearful
And I'll never be whole again

I Hate You

I hate you
And I've never met you
But you've trespassed against me
And I don't know how I'll forgive you

I hate you
And I've said I won't
But you've injured me deeply
And I don't know how I'll get over it

I hate you
And I'm stuck with you
Being some small part of my life
And I don't know how I'll live with that